stage4's Cancer Blog

April 12, 2007

Chemo, Erbitux Reaction, Total Misery

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I haven’t posted in awhile because I have been pretty miserable lately both physically and mentally. I started chemo again (3rd Time Around) on March 27th.
Folfox 4 and Erbitux.
I had a reaction to the Erbitux that is so bad I am really starting to think twice whether it is worth it.
I posted some pretty ugly pictures of the reaction in the gallery if you want to check it out.
I have the “acne like rash” better known to doctors and chemo nurses as the Erbitux Rash all over my face, neck, back, scalp. It is sort of like chicken pox. It is a constant itch, scratch, burning skin cycle that nothing seems to make better.
I also have a fever that ranges from 101 to 102 everyday from about 5:30 pm and thru the night for which Ibuprophen gives temporary relief. The doctor says it probably is connected to the reaction.
The oncologist wanted me to continue the chemo minus the Erbitux but I just couldn’t see kicking myself while I am already down. I wanted to wait until this ugly and very painful rash cleared up and he said he will check with me next week but we shouldn’t wait too long.
I just can’t deal. I don’t know if I will go back to chemo. My body is a physical wreck and it is not the cancer or even any of the 3 surgeries I have had because of it. It is just these stupid chemo drugs. They really are inhumane. We would never put animals through this, we would put them down. I feel like I wish someone would put me down and out of my misery right now.
Through all of this I have been quite the fighter and so sure I was going to beat this but this cancer is relentless.
It has come back 3 times now and this time there is a 1 cm spot in my lung. The radiologist says it is also in my liver again but the surgeon thinks he is seeing scar tissue there. My odds are not very good at making it very long chemo or not. Maybe my attitude will improve if this rash ever goes away but noone will tell me how long I will have it. The oncologist said “eventually”. He has only ever seen this reaction once and the chemo nurses have never seen it.
My oncologist remarked how it figures the one who gets the reaction would be me. I seem to have the worst luck as far as chemo side effects go.
I guess I have vented enough. More soon. Wish me luck.
Donna

Posted on April 12, 2007 at 7:57:48 PM by Donna Richno ( Chemo, Erbitux Reaction, Total Misery, 2 comments)

Those pictures are horrible. ugh! Thanks for posting those. It keeps me motivated to do something to raise awareness. Cancer sucks! And I am going to do something about it. Hang in there girlfriend! Please, please stay in touch.

Posted on April 13, 2007 at 8:58:27 AM by jill

So sorry to hear of all your troubles. I will pray that the rash goes away soon.
Hugs!
Karen

Posted on April 13, 2007 at 2:51:21 PM by kleebeck