stage4's Cancer Blog
October 23, 2007
The good news from the Petscan is they didn’t find any additional cancer that they didn’t see on the Catscan.
For all the other cancer survivors out there. Do you ever get tired of all the well meaning family members telling you to be upbeat and smile,think positive blah blah, blah.
I do and I know they mean well but at this point I am more worried for them than me. I have done everything the doctors had suggested, I had 3 surgeries, 16 months of chemo. I feel great right now but there is no question this will kill me. Maybe not today or tomorrow but sooner or later it will kill me. It just refused to go away and stay away.
I prefer to focus on how great I feel right now. They are staying in this magical world where stage 4 cancer people are cured and live a long life. It happens but very rarely. It has now invaded a total of three organs. The fight is very exhausting. I don’t want to be told I am giving up.
The doctors have said they have nothing left they can do. I am grateful for them extending my life this far.
Without my medical team I would have died in about Aug or Sept of 2005. I am grateful for the gift of time.
I am so worried that family members refuse to deal with the truth as it is and that they will be devasated more than they could have been by not dealing with it.
Any suggestions out there?
I don’t want to be a wet blanket on the party and you should try to be a fighter and think positive while you are going thru it. But after all has been done you should be is honest with yourself.
I hope most of you that are in the fight know you can win. But when you win your battle just remember some of us didn’t and we tried very hard.
Luv ya
Donna
Petscan Results -No Better No Worse, 
6 comments)
Thanks for your support - 
When you’re faced with the awful truth that you have so long to live, I think that the best you can do is live the best life you can and keep fighting. It’s a delicate balance but in one aspect, you’re not giving up, and in another, you’re seizing life by the tails and making the best of it.
As for well-meaning family members, I think they’ll have to fend for themselves. You can worry about them. Sometimes denial is a totally respectable defense mechanism for some people. They’ll survive.
You, my friend, should focus on you. I know you’re doing all that you can do, and sometimes it just isn’t enough. Keep focusing on how great you’re feeling. Focus on the beautiful things in your life and let God deal with the rest.
My prayers are with you. Huge hug…Grace
I like your response to my Asking for Help blog entry. Thank you. I never saw it that way before and I need to. By denying help, I’m denying someone’s opportunity to be blessed. That’s really good. Thank you so much, Donna, for that insight. Hugs…Grace
Donna, what can I say to you? Even though it has only been a relatively short time for me since my stage 4 diagnosis, I am dealing with the friends and relatives saying, just keep a positive attitude and you will beat this. I think that my husband occupies this place most of the time. After he tells me that I can feel better just by having a positive attitude, I will push him to admit that we may not have very long. But then he will place a positive spin on quality vs. quantity. And, that is true but neither of us has really dealt with this thing called cancer.
I think that most friends and relatives will stay in that world of every thing will be alright. They love you and can’t imagine being without you. There are afraid, if they agree with your doctors about the status of your cancer, that this will encourage you to give up. How could they live with that? It’s made harder by the fact that you are feeling well and strong.
I hope that you are still planning the cruise at the end of this month. Go and have a wonderful time. Eat everything that you want, go to every entertainment show, take every tour. I’ve been lucky enough to go on several outstanding cruises in my life. My husband and I sometimes sit in our office and look at cruises on-line and say, lets clean out the bank account and sail away forever.
Donna, you are a very special lady and you have already helped me more than I can ever possibly express. We don’t want to loose you and I hope that you keep fighting in whatever way you choose.
I think the more at peace with it you become the more they will start to accept it as well. But don’t worry that much about them. You don’t want them to worry about you. ?? Not sure if that helps.
Donna,
I was writing a comment and my screen went blank so I don’t know if you got it or not. I was saying to hang in there. I know it isn’t easy cancer sucks. I know sometime you just fill like giving up, BUT DON’T. Yes I do know how you feel when people tell you to be strong and you can get through this. They don’t know that there are days when you don’t want to hear that. But I believe they just don’t know what else to say. That is why I was so glad to find this site it is a good sounding board. We are all here for you..
Cheryl
I believe there is always something they can do. They come out with new treatments every day. And, IF yours comes back you can have it zapped again and again. I am also stage4 colon/liver/lung patient and I will never stop with the treatments that are available to us. Keep your chin up!